The Freeze Response: Why You Feel Numb and How to Thaw Out
Have you ever found yourself zoning out during a stressful conversation, feeling paralyzed in the face of a big decision, or simply going through the motions of daily life without really feeling anything? If so, you might be experiencing the “freeze” response—a natural, but often misunderstood, reaction to stress and overwhelm.
While fight and flight are well-known ways our bodies respond to threats, freeze is just as important. It’s the body’s way of protecting us when escape or confrontation doesn’t feel possible. But when the freeze response lingers, it can leave us feeling numb, disconnected, and stuck. The good news? With understanding, compassion, and the right tools, it’s possible to gently thaw out and reconnect with yourself and the world around you.
What Is the Freeze Response?
The freeze response is part of our body’s built-in survival system. When we sense danger, our nervous system automatically decides whether to fight, flee, or freeze. Freezing is like hitting the pause button—it’s a way to stay safe by becoming still, quiet, or even invisible.
In the wild, freeze helps animals avoid predators. In humans, it can look like:
Feeling numb or “checked out”
Difficulty speaking or moving
Trouble making decisions or taking action
Zoning out or dissociating during stress
Feeling disconnected from your body or emotions
While this response can be protective in the moment, it can become a problem when it sticks around long after the threat is gone.
Why Does the Freeze Response Linger?
Sometimes, the freeze response gets “stuck.” This can happen after traumatic events, chronic stress, or situations where you felt powerless or overwhelmed. Your nervous system learns that freezing is the safest option, and it keeps using that strategy—even when it’s no longer helpful.
You might notice:
Difficulty feeling joy, excitement, or even sadness
A sense of being “on autopilot”
Struggling to start or finish tasks
Feeling isolated or disconnected from others
Physical symptoms like fatigue, muscle tension, or shallow breathing
If you recognize these signs, know that you’re not lazy, broken, or alone. Your body is doing its best to keep you safe.
The Cost of Staying Frozen
While freezing can help us survive tough moments, staying in this state for too long can take a toll. It can make it hard to connect with others, pursue goals, or enjoy life. You might feel frustrated with yourself for not “snapping out of it,” but the truth is, thawing out takes time and care.
How to Gently Thaw the Freeze Response
The path out of freeze isn’t about forcing yourself to “just do it” or “get over it.” It’s about creating safety, building trust with your body, and taking small, manageable steps. Here are some gentle ways to begin:
1. Acknowledge What’s Happening
The first step is simply noticing and naming the freeze response. “I feel numb right now.” “I’m having trouble getting started.” By recognizing what’s happening, you can start to respond with compassion instead of frustration.
2. Connect with Your Body
Freeze often involves disconnecting from physical sensations. Gentle movement—like stretching, walking, or even wiggling your fingers—can help you reconnect. Try placing a hand on your heart or belly and noticing your breath. Small actions count.
3. Practice Grounding Techniques
Grounding helps anchor you in the present moment. You might try:
Naming five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste
Holding a comforting object, like a soft blanket or stone
Splashing cool water on your face
These techniques can help signal to your nervous system that you’re safe now.
4. Move at Your Own Pace
There’s no rush to “fix” the freeze response. Start with tiny steps—maybe getting out of bed, opening a window, or sending a single text. Celebrate every bit of progress, no matter how small.
5. Express Yourself Creatively
Sometimes, words are hard to find when you’re frozen. Art, music, journaling, or even doodling can help you process emotions and start to thaw out.
6. Reach Out for Support
You don’t have to do this alone. Therapies like brainspotting or Internal Family Systems (IFS) can help you gently explore and release the roots of the freeze response. A supportive friend, therapist, or group can also offer connection and encouragement.
How Brainspotting Helps Unfreeze the Body and Mind
Brainspotting is a body-based therapy that works with your nervous system to process and release trauma. In a session, you focus on the sensations or emotions linked to feeling frozen, while your therapist helps you find a “brainspot”—an eye position that connects to the stuck feeling.
As you gently hold your attention there, your brain and body begin to process what’s been held inside. Over time, this can help:
Release numbness and restore emotional flow
Increase your sense of safety and presence
Make it easier to take action and connect with others
Build resilience for future stress
The process is gentle and paced by you—there’s no pressure to relive trauma or force change.
You Deserve to Feel Alive and Connected
If you’re struggling with numbness, disconnection, or feeling stuck, know that you’re not alone—and you’re not failing. The freeze response is a natural way your body tries to protect you. With patience, compassion, and the right support, it’s absolutely possible to thaw out and rediscover your sense of aliveness.
Take it one gentle step at a time. Reach out if you need support. You deserve to feel safe, present, and connected—to yourself and the world around you.